In/Out

As someone powerless against the allure of the first page of a blank notebook, a new day planner, and the clean-slate freshness of January 1, even I am stepping into 2023 with a bit of weary trepidation. If the strangeness and unpredictability of the past few years have imparted anything, it’s this: New Year’s Resolutions? Honey, I’m taking everything day by day.

A whiff of superstitiousness now hangs around any inclinations I may harbor toward planning anything too far in advance–let alone setting a 1-year or (can you imagine) 5-year plan. What gods might I offend? What horrible illness or random tragedy will befall anyone arrogant enough to think she can plan her future? (I am relieved that no one asked “Where do you see yourself in five years?” when I was interviewing for my job. “Alive, I hope,” would have been my answer, and somehow I doubt that’s the response they’d have been looking for.) This fear of being struck down as punishment for planning ahead is medieval, magical thinking, for which I blame both middle age (THE WORST COULD HAPPEN) and The Pandemic Years (THE WORST IS HAPPENING). And yes, Dad, I am saving for my retirement anyway.

Anyway, all of the above notwithstanding, I do like to stop and take stock of the year past and cast my eyes toward the horizon, so to speak. When I saw a bunch of In/Out lists floating around Instagram and various other media outlets, I decided to make a list for myself and it proved to be an interesting exercise.

I think stream-of-consciousness is the way to approach something like this; letting the mind flit from one random idea to the next. It’s after the fact that one can “zoom out” and see that the ideas were not so random, after all. My list reveals a longing for completeness (three-course dinners, albums) as opposed to the piecemeal ways we seem to take in food and culture these days (enough with share plates and one-off song releases); a turning-away from social media (no more memes by 30-year-olds about how “old” they are or advice from Instagram sages who portray themselves as Very Wise as they spout meaningless platitudes about “taking up space” and “manifesting” goals); and good citrus (I have had it with buying bags of underwhelming clementines).

Nota bene: I am–and have always been–wrong about every pop culture trend. My tally of ins and outs is emphatically not a forecast; rather, it’s a list of loves and intentions. Even if you’re nowhere near as cranky as I am–and especially if you are!–I’d love to learn what’s in (or out) for you in this new year; let me know in the comments. Happy new year!